Times like these..

"..but know that the world is full of beauty you don't even know of or never think about. No need to stay down. Stay open. To everything. Και σε απογοητεύσεις. It's surprising how you think you know everything αν δε φάεις τα μούτρα σου. Sometimes τζαι μετά που τα τρώεις! Anyway, "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers" ". 10/4/12

Confusion

The worst feeling of all: when you don't know what you want. You wake up one day and you want one thing, then the next day you want the opposite. And that's awful not just for you, but for everyone around you. What if there are two choices in life and you don't want either one of them? In fact, you want what you don't have each time. Where do you hide then? When none of the choices completes you, what do you choose?

But what if what you actually want is..both?

Illusions

And the whole world goes in circles. As always. Faith in humanity? Level zero. "The world is rotting". Indeed it is. Including me. Including every single one of us.
There is always that little silver lining of hope. Nope. Not anymore. Because we can't see, if we don't want to. "I see but I don't see". We create those little illusions in our minds, those illusions which give us a hint of hope, which helps us through a little light on what's happening around us. Then again, they are illusions.
The world sucks. Everyone sucks. I suck.
Realizations. That the world is not the way it should be. The world has become a place for sinners. Innocence is gone forevermore. It waves goodbye little by little. With every new realization, I feel a piece of it going away. Like a part of me is missing. And it feels wrong. And excruciating. It feels like my soul is ripped in pieces that disappear into the wild. And I can't get them back. Not now. Not ever.
I thought people could be different. People could be good. But NO. They are just selfish creature looking for pleasure. Trust in the world? Beyond saving.



-"You could be a smurf"

Game over

Sometimes it's good to be able to recognize a lost cause from the beginning. It saves you the trouble of thinking, hoping, over thinking, planning. It saves you time. It saves you pain. It helps you move on quicker. When it's lost, it's lost. Gone. Beyond saving. No matter what actions or what words you use as allies. It can't be saved unless it wants to be.But winning is not an option anymore. Not for us. Not in the way we wanted it to be.

"We played, we lost. Game over."

Brand New Revisited.

It's that time of the year again, when we wish to enjoy the 365 days ahead. Truth is, we do need this time of the year. Because a day like this, gives us the chance to feel that we have a brand new beginning in front of us. "..another year, another chance for us to get it right."
It's true that some wishes remain the same every single year. But we still wish they come true because a part of us hopes something will change. We need a day like today, a First of some others to come, so that we can leave our mistakes behind, forgive, and hold on to our hopes and dreams. We need this day to re-evaluate our lives, to find again a sense of purpose, a goal in life. We need to spend some time we our loved ones. Learn again to appreciate some things (which will be once again forgotten by the end of the year). We need just a moment to remember to love again. Just a single moment.

However, usually this sense of a new beginning is just an illusion. We hope to leave the past behind, but truth is, it always lingers in front of us. Chases us. Because either us or someone else won't let go. They say, if you messed up your life, changing location won't help at all. It's you that has to change. But let's take a moment to consider this. You, can change. What about the rest of the world, though? It's still the same. It still has the same flaws. And your life does not depend only on you. It's also the people involved. And people are just..people. Mortals. Sinners. So re-evaluation and new beginning? A faraway dream, after all. Not because you don't want to. Because they won't let you.

.. and with these thoughts, I hope you have a Happy New Year :) Cheers to the illusion of new beginnings. We need them.

xoxo

Sick and tired of people deciding stuff about my life. My life is MINE, I AM the one who makes the choices, I AM the one who leads it. STOP FUCKIN MESSING EVERYTHING GOOD THERE IS IN IT.

The Return

The one I love. The one I hate. The one I miss. My best friend. The one I need. The one who completes me. The one I want to punch hard in the face. The one I can't stand his pain. The one I wanna hurt so bad. The one I can't bare to hurt.

Back from Underland. Himself again. My love. My friend. My support.
Beside me. As it is supposed to be. As it was always supposed to be.
Free from her venomous tentacles.

The one I blamed for not keeping promises. The one who tried to keep the promises to a minimum, because of her. The one who was trying to keep the promise and I didn't know.

Back. Again.