Exceptions.

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Disappointed.

You disappointed me once more. You changed, you're not the one you used to be. You know what? watch me changing and getting over you.

Goodbye.

The End.

"Η διήγηση της Καρολίνας":

Όλα άλλαξαν. Ήξερα πως θα περνούσε πολλή ώρα μέχρι να καταφέρω να ηρεμίσω. Μπήκα σαν σίφουνας στο δωμάτιό μου, έκλεισα την πόρτα όσο πιο σιγά μπορούσα έπεσα μπρούμυτα στο κρεβάτι. Άφησα τα δάκρυά μου να κυλήσουν πάνω στο σκέπασμα του κρεβατιού. Το είχα ήδη ποτίσει αρκετές φορές με δάκρυα. Ένας λυγμός ξέφυγε από το στόμα μου. Άρπαξα το μαξιλάρι και έχωσα μέσα το πρόσωπό μου για να μην αφήσω να μου ξεφύγουν κι άλλοι λυγμοί. Έμεινα εκεί αφήνοντας όλο τον πόνο, την πίκρα και τον θυμό να βγουν προς τα έξω με τη μορφή των δακρύων. Οι λυγμοί ακολουθούσαν ο ένας τον άλλο αλλά το μαξιλάρι κατάφερε να καταπνίξει τους χειρότερους.

Ο χρόνος κυλούσε χωρίς να ξέρω αν είχαν περάσει αιώνες, μέρες, ώρες ή λεπτά. Τα δάκρυα όμως δεν έλεγαν να στεγνώσουν. Συνεχώς νέα, φρέσκα έπαιρναν την θέση τους. Μέσα στην μιζέρια μου σκέφτηκα πως ίσως αν έγραφα αυτά που σκεφτόμουν κάπου να ένιωθα καλύτερα. Τουλάχιστον αυτό συμβουλεύουν συνήθως οι ψυχολόγοι. Το μάτι μου έψαξε το δωμάτιο και είδα το τετράδιο στο οποίο ζωγράφιζα και έγραφα στοίχους από τραγούδια όταν βαριόμουν στο μάθημα, την περισσότερη ώρα δηλαδή. Νιώθοντας τα δάκρυά μου να πέφτουν, πήρα το τετράδιο και ένα μολύβι και άρχισα να γράφω, μουντζαλώνοντας με κηλίδες τις σελίδες.

Πού είσαι; Πού έχεις πάει; Τώρα που σε χρειάζομαι περισσότερο από ποτέ, δεν είσαι μαζί μου. Μέσα στην καρδιά μου μπορώ να νιώσω την απουσία σου. Λείπεις από τη ζωή μου. Όλα άλλαξαν, δεν είναι όπως παλιά. Επιμένεις πως τίποτα δεν έχει αλλάξει. Μα ξέρω ότι είναι ψέμα. Το νιώθω. Δεν θέλω λόγια να με πείσουν. Θέλω να μου το δείξεις. Και σε χρειάζομαι. Αχ πόσο σε χρειάζομαι! Όμως δεν είσαι καν δίπλα μου. Δεν ζητώ πολλά πράγματα. Απλά χρειάζομαι να σε νιώσω στο πλευρό μου, να νιώσω ότι νοιάζεσαι για μένα και ότι είσαι ο καλύτερος φίλος με τον οποίο πέρασα τόσα πολλά. Όμως ότι έχει μείνει είναι μόνο μια ανάμνηση, μια σκιά από το παρελθόν. Είπες ότι ποτέ δεν θα έφευγες. Τότε που είσαι τώρα; Ο κόσμος γυρίζει και δεν μπορώ να βρω το χέρι σου να πιαστώ. Δεν είσαι μαζί μου πια.. έφυγες..

Ρουφώντας τη μύτη μου, άφησα το τετράδιο και το μολύβι να πέσουν στο πάτωμα. Ξάπλωσα πάνω στο μουσκεμένο μου μαξιλάρι με το μυαλό μου γεμάτο αναμνήσεις. Τα δάκρυα άρχισαν να στερεύουν κι εγώ γλίστρησα σε έναν ύπνο χωρίς όνειρα.

Promises

I promise to protect you from any harm

I promise to love you forever.

I promise I will never hurt you

I promise I’ll always be by your side.

I promise to be your guardian angel.

I promise not to let anyone hurt you.

I promise I’ll be there for you.

I promise I will always help you.

Just promises..

Endurance

In how many more pieces will I be torn apart? Isn’t one billion pieces enough? How many times more will my heart be broken? How can my heart be hurt so much and still continue beating? Why do I always have to suffer for the one I love? Is there a law in life that says the happy times must equal the pain and the sadness? Why does love produce so much pain? Love is supposed to be a good feeling, to be the best feeling in the world, to win against hate and sadness and pain, right? Then WHY DOES IT HURT LIKE HELL? I want to rip my heart out my chest. “Maybe if my heart stops beating it won’t hurt this much “ says a song. Well I just wish this was true. Because how else am I going to end this pain? I have been broken over and over again; I have hurt him, too, by being hurt. Why are we doing this? We hurt each other all the time. I don’t want this to happen anymore. I got bored of all the crying till I fall asleep. Don’t do I deserve some constant happiness? Or does pain have to accompany love forever? I can’t stand it, I’ve been hurt so deeply, beyond repair. deeper each time. And the wound does not seem to heal and then another wave of pain rips it more open. I hate myself for making him suffer. How much longer can I endure this? I don’t even know myself. One day a will explode into little pieces. I will remain scattered everywhere. No one will be able to put my together again. Only him. He is the only one who can glue me together and then torn me apart again. I’m a little puppet in his fingers. But I know I can’t give up. The pain will be much more unbearable for both of us. I can’t do it. Never. In the end, love’s worth any pain. If I have to endure and suffer forever for his love, so will it be..

I Love You.

Our lips crush violently. I can feel the heat of his lips burning mine as they move together. His sweet scent, which doesn’t resemble any man-made perfume, fills every corner of my lungs. His arms keep me locked in an embrace which I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to. My hands search for his hair and are automatically clenched around them. Our breathing speeds up and comes out in gasps. The heat exerting his body is absorbed willingly by every cell of my body, burning me on the inside. His soft lips never leave mine, and when they do, I want them back. I bury my face in his chest not willing to let go, inhaling as much of his scent as I can. He never pushes me away from him. He just strokes my hair and whispers how much he loves me. I never want this moment to end. I don’t want to leave his side, no matter what. He belongs to me, I belong to him. We are meant to be together. Till day after forever.

Tick - Tocking

why does time never pass quickly when u want to? i mean, u have something really important to do and the time on the clock does not seem to change at all.

i wanna run, run away, i wanna make the hours pass quicker, i want the final time to come.. as the minutes go by they are torturing me, they each seem like ages to me, no, centuries. the time seems like it has stop when i need it to pass. but i know i have to relax, that is all in my imagination. there is no magical machine that can change the time so i'd better be patient. sooner or later the time will come. the time to see him again is close..

damn i cant wait any longer. i want to see him NOW. waiting is not my forte, im not patient at all, especially when i should be. my heart is pounding in excitement, knowing that in a while we will be finally together. i feel butterflies in my stomach. tick tock. tick tock. another minute has passed, another minute closer to him, closer to his arms, to his smile..

i wish a fairy would make time pass quicker. but i guess fairies exist only in fairytales and fantasies. it doesnt matter, on way or another i will see him in a while. and that gives me strength to wait, to get by some more minutes before i remember it again and gain more strength. his memory is all i have to keep me counting the minutes left.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock..