Heart Uprising

Άμαν εν μπορείς να βάλεις τζίνα που νιώθεις πάνω που τον εγωισμό σου, τότε εν εσχει τίποτε άλλο να πούμε.. Κανεί. Φαίνεται πόσο σημαντικό εν για σένα. Ευχαριστώ.

Another promise, another seed. Another, packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed. And all the, green belts wrapped around our minds and endless, red tape to keep the truth confined.

They will not control us,we will be victorius.

Υποσχέσεις

..στο Κοιλάνι

Κι αν ποτέ νιώσεις μόνος, να ξέρεις πως κάποιος, κάπου, σ' αγαπάει. Ίσως ακόμη κι αν δε σε ξέρει. Και μπορεί να σε καταλάβει.

Κι αν νιώσεις να χάνεσαι, θυμήσου πως υπάρχει ακόμη ελπίδα. Ψάξε την. Στα βάθη της ψυχής σου θα τη βρεις, στον πυρήνα της ίδιας σου της ύπαρξης. Μια μισοσβησμένη φλόγα. Τρεμοπαίζει. Μην την αφήσεις να σβήσει.
Κι αν ακόμη ο κόσμος, σου φαίνεται σκληρός, αν "καθένας χωριστά ονειρεύεται" και "δεν ακούει το βραχνά" το δικό σου, μη φοβάσαι. Γιατί ξέρεις πως δεν είσαι μόνος. Ξέρεις πού θα με βρεις...
Γιατί ξέρεις πως θα είμαι πάντα εκεί. Όπως υποσχέθηκα. Όπως πρέπει να είμαι. Όπως θέλω να είμαι.
Και δε θα χαθείς. Όχι.
Γιατί θα είμαι πάντα πλάι σου.

The Finality.

That's what's makes it the most difficult of all. The most painful. That realisation is enough to set the tears rolling,enough to make those submerged feelings in the ashes of the Dark Days, see the light of day again.
Enough to tear someone apart. Maybe not just one person this time.
The Finality. The end of an era of life. The end of a cycle.
Yes. Just as expected.
The time to finally grow up and get on with life.
The Finality. The end.
But also, the start of something new. A new life. A new bond. A new friendship(?) 
 ...............................
I just want to you to know that when everyone else had lost faith in you, I was still there. When everyone wouldn't bother to hear you, I was still there.
And I want you to know that when everyone else said I should give up on you, I didn't. When they said I deserve better, I didn't listen to them. I always didn't.

All because I love you.

Entangled.

And just when things couldn’t get any more complicated.. we made them worse. Tangled. Tangled. Tangled.

Hooray for me for having the idea.

Hope for no regrets. 

Embrace the results of your choices. 

Good luck to us to figuring things out.

Fingers crossed.

"Kisses sweet, but complicated, burning bright, but sadly faded."

Redemption.

Being right all along. So what? Same shit.
Και καταραμένο τέλος it is, indeed.
Rewrite over the tape? Nah. Not even a glimpse of hope.
And I'm angry. Angry at you, angry at those fools, angry at myself. Because If you really cared, you wouldn't believe them. If you really cared, you wouldn't mind. If you really cared, you would have tried. You would have faught for it. Seems like you don't. And I've been again the fool. I've fallen into that dark pit again, only to find myself trying to get out again, not sure of the way to do it.
It's like the tears are not enough anymore, they can't bring redemption to the soul. That's why they don't make their appearance. Sometimes it feels like everything can go back to normal. But what is, normal? Pretending each other does not exist? Or being "friends" which didn't actually turn out to be true. Cause we suck at frienship. And maybe that's the problem.
Do you still care? Do you still remember? Do you still feel the way you did? If you do,then why the hell are we doing this?! Why?
And I can't imagine anyone's lips touching mine,than yours. Or anyone's touch. It's like we were manufactured to fit together as puzzles, only now some of the pieces are missing and we suddenly can't be together again.

Words are not enough and they can never be. And I know, oh I know that when I find out those little spies..they'll wish they had never even made a thought about me. I don't know how or when. I just know someday, they'll regret the time they spilled out those poisonous words. Those words that weren't supposed to  affect you in any way, if you were smart enough to see beyond them, smart enough to trust only your heart.

Unless your heart has been poisoned,too.
"They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies."
I know I'm focusing on this one little reason. But is the one that makes me the angriest of all. Cause they had no right. NO F**KING RIGHT. Cause they are all hypocrites. This is why. And because you always have a trend to believe whatever their big mouth says,without even telling me. Because even if you say you don't want anyone involved in this, you let them get involved yourself by just taking them into account!

Really, shame on you.

And I can't wait of the time that I'll finally be outta here. Oh yes, just 5 months from now. And you'll be sorry again, just like you were before. But this time there will be no other chances. Oh how I long for a different life, different people. Who don't go mess up around with your life, keep their gossips to themselves and MIND THEIR OWN BUSYNESS. If such people exist.

So this is goodbye then. Farewell. I hope you know what you meant to me...

"Now that I've tried everything,I'll numb the pain till I am made of stone."

Σημάδια

The secret is to not get too attached. It always fails,though.

Ήταν σα να έβλεπε την ίδια κασέτα ξανά.. Μπορούσε να αναγνωρίσει το τέλος από την εμφάνιση των σημαδιών: αργά, δειλά, με αυξανόμενη συχνότητα, ίσα ίσα ώστε να μπορέσει να τα χωνέψει και να αντιληφθεί το νόημά τους. Αδιαφορία, βαρεμάρα, δικαιολογίες.. Ναι, το είχε ξαναδεί αυτό το σενάριο. Ήξερε πού θα κατέληγε. Ίσως όχι τώρα, ίσως όχι πολύ σύντομα, όμως σίγουρα τα σημάδια δε θα παρέκκλιναν από τον τελικό τους προορισμό. Απλά.. ίσως τελικά να μην ήταν γραφτό. Μπορούσε να το νιώσει. Δεν ήταν αυτό που ονειρευόταν, το ιδανικό γι αυτήν ήταν κάτι το διαφορετικό, κάτι το παραμυθένιο που δε χρειαζόταν να ποτίζεται κάθε τόσο με δάκρυα πόνου.. Το φανταζόταν πως μεγάλωνε με κάθε βλέμμα, κάθε γέλιο, κάθε ζεστή αγκαλιά, κάθε παθιασμένο φιλί..

Μερικές φορές φάνταζε αληθινό. Τότε ένιωθε πως είχε κάνει τη σωστή επιλογή. Τελευταία, όμως, τα σημάδια την έκαναν να φοβάται, πιο πολύ από κάθε άλλη φορά. Αυτή τη φορά είχε δώσει τη ψυχή της, όλο της το είναι. Τους φόβους της, τους πόθους της, τις πιο απόκρυφες γωνιές της ύπαρξής της.. Τώρα ένιωθε την καρδιά της στα χέρια του ίδιου δολοφόνου, έτοιμη να κατακρεουργηθεί ξανά, και πάλι απ' την αρχή. Η κασέτα κόντευε πια στο τέλος της. Αργό, βασανιστικό.. Ζήλια, φθόνος, αγάπη, μίσος, καχυποψία, πόνος.

Ίσως κατάφερνε να γυρίσει την κασέτα πίσω. Αλλά αυτό θα έφερνε πάλι το ίδιο αποτέλεσμα. Ίσως πάλι να κατάφερνε να φτάσει στο τέλος και να το γράψει ξανά από την αρχή. Διαφορετικό πλέον. Χαρούμενο. Όπως αυτή θα το ήθελε. Ιδανικό, όπως επιζητούσε η καρδιά της.

Ίσως πάλι να παρέμενε στο ίδιο καταραμένο τέλος.

Can Love Worn out?

"..Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or Bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken."

- Shakespeare Sonnet 116

 

This is how you know IT'S NOT true love.