Missing.

It's one of those times when I wonder If I am actually trying enough. I do try. Though do I do my best? I don't think so. And that just sucks. Cause it's not about me. Well,it actually is partly; though at some point you stop thinking about yourself anymore. Results? Pain. Jealousy. Why? Cause it hurts to know there are other people there who already fill up your absent place. And it sucks knowing how many wonderful moments you are missing, when in fact those others live them, with the person you love most. Those moments which are yours to live, yours to cherish. You may say, true, but you didn't grab the chance when you could. But that doesn't depend entirely on you. In fact, If I could, I definitetly would have changed the whole story.
I just hate knowing what I am missing. I also hate NOT knowing what I am missing. I guess I actually hate MISSING things. Chances. People. Moments. People. People. People..
........
She sighed under her blue umbrella and continued walking under the pouring rain, knowing she missed another chance to see him. Maybe one day,she would make up to him.