Monday, December 23, 2013

If you Believe, say "I do".

I will find you. Someday I will. I know that I can't find you now because I still have so much to learn. About love, about trust, about friendship. I haven't found you yet, because I wasn't ready. And maybe I'm still not. But I will find you. In my darkest hour. When I'm wise enough. I will find you when I will be in most need to believe again, when you will be the miracle illuminating my life. So that you will be most precious to me. So that you will remind me what love and hope are. We'll be united when the time is right. How do I know we will? It's something only believers do. And when you believe, you don't need proof.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Santa,

All I want for this Christmas is to be happy.

Thank you.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Ισοπέδωση

Είμαστε η νέα γενιά της απαισιοδοξίας. Τα παιδιά που τους δόθηκε ένας διεστραμμένος κόσμος, με αποστολή να τον σώσουν. Πώς να σώσουμε έναν κατεστραμμένο κόσμο, όταν δε μπορούμε να σώσουμε τους εαυτούς μας;

Είμαστε η γενιά του "ονειρεύομαι! αλλά....". Η γενιά που μένει μόνο στα όνειρα. Η γενιά που δε ξέρει πλέον τη αναζητά. Η μάλλον που ξέρει, αλλά δε μπορεί να το ζήσει. "Ονειρεύομαι να γυρίσω τον κόσμο με ένα τζετ!" Πώς να γυρίσεις τον κόσμο, όταν ο κόσμος σε έχει πλέον σκλαβώσει στα "πρέπει"; "Ονειρεύομαι να γίνω καλλιτέχνης!" Πώς να επιβιώσεις, που πλέον τα μόνα επαγγέλματα που θεωρούνται "χρήσιμα" είναι αυτά που εξασφαλίζουν το μεγαλύτερο κέρδος; "Ονειρεύομαι να κάθομαι ήσυχα σε μια καφετέρια, παρέα με το βιβλίο μου και μια ζεστή σοκολάτα..." Κάτι τόσο απλό, τόσο καθημερινό, που όμως έχει γίνει κάτι άπιαστο. Πώς να ησυχάσεις σε μια ζωή που οι ρυθμοί της δε σε αφήνουν ούτε να αναπνεύσεις;

Είμαστε η γενιά της αποχαύνωσης, της παραίτησης, του συμβιβασμού, της εκφυγής σε άλλων λύσεων. Η γενιά της μέθης, του εύκολου και φτηνού σεξ, του "δεν μπορώ να διασκεδάσω χωρίς ουσίες". Η γενιά του ξεπεσμού, της κατακρεούργησης των ηθικών αξιών, της ισοπέδωσης των ονείρων, της λησμονιάς του έρωτα, της αγάπης, της ελπίδας. Είμαστε τα παιδιά με τα ανεκπλήρωτα όνειρα, τους κρυφούς πόθους, τις μισοσβησμένες φλόγες.

Ναι, είμαστε η νέα γενιά της παραίτησης. Φταίμε όμως εμείς γι αυτό; Φταίμε που μας δόθηκε ένας δόλιος κόσμος με την διαταγή "φτιάξτε τον"; Φταίμε που μας δίνεται μια ελευθερία την οποία δεν μπορούμε να ασκήσουμε; Φταίμε που τα "θέλω" ισοπεδώνονται από τα "πρέπει" μιας συντηρητικής κοινωνίας; Φταίμε που οι ορισμοί της ισότητας και της καινοτομίας είναι απλά ένα παραμύθι; Ή μήπως φταίμε που δε μπορούμε πλέον να ζήσουμε το όνειρο άφοβα; Φταίμε εμείς που ξέχασαν να μας μάθουν να αγαπάμε;


Φταίμε που δεν το διεκδικήσαμε και ακόμη σωπαίνουμε.

Friday, November 15, 2013

State of peace

All I need, is find my inner peace. Is this THAT hard? I just want to feel free. At peace with myself. Happy with the world around me. But no. It's like nothing can ever satisfy this. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want. I don't know who I wanna be. I just wanna be.. me. Whatever that is. Whether this is what I am know, what I was before or what I am not yet. I just want peace..

This is never enough. This life.. is not enough. And yet maybe "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." It's not that I dont try. In this bullshit life, i really try and do things I enjoy. I go to new places, I practice archery, I make new friends. I live new experiences everyday. And yet this is never enough. Because of the world around, slowly rotting. Whatever relationship once seemed to be solid, is now melting down. And I don't know what is real and what is not, what is worth the effort and what is not. And I don't know... Some people deserve the best. And yet I may not be able to offer this because of all this disappointment and bullshit."If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't." Life is tragic. Everything is tragic.

No matter what you do to make you feel complete, something will be missing. All these things that I once felt happy with, now leave me empty. Because the people I share them with are no longer true. True to themselves, true in general. They are changed. I myself am changed. And "the things you used to own now they own you"..

Escaping this loop seems impossible. The emptiness is always there. I need something true. Something to believe in. I stopped believing in everything I once valued. Love, trust. Sometimes friendship. And why should I go on believing in them when everything shows the opposite. I am almost 19 years old and I can find all the crap of society possible. And this is disappointing.

Cheers to the sitty world we created. Cheers to the values that were once real. Cheers to the love that was once true.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Κι εμείς χωρίζουμε..


Έτσι κι αλλιώς.. οι δρόμοι μας χωρίζουν. Ο καθένας παίρνει το δρόμο του σιγά σιγά.. Αποφάσεις, επιλογές, πράξεις. Αυτά μας καθορίζουν, αυτά μας διαμορφώνουν, αυτά δείχνουν ποιοι είμαστε, ποιοι θέλουμε να γίνουμε, ποιοι θα καταλήξουμε.

Κι έτσι οι δρόμοι χωρίζουν, φιλίες χάνονται, ξεχνιούνται, προδίνονται.. Κι εμείς χωρίζουμε. Από χρόνο, από επιλογή, από υποχρεώσεις. Αλλάζουμε. Μεγαλώνουμε. Ξεχνάμε. Αυτά που υποσχεθήκαμε, αυτά που κάποτε κρατήσαμε ιερά σε ένα μικρό δωματιάκι δίπλα απ' την καρδιά μας.. Απλά τα αφήνουμε, σα να μην υπήρξαν ποτέ σημαντικά για μας, σα να μη γελούσαμε με την καρδιά μας με αυτά. Κι εμείς χωρίζουμε. Έτσι κι αλλιώς, η στιγμή θα ερχόταν. Και τα εγκαταλείπουμε..

Είναι στιγμές που τα ασήμαντα μοιάζουν σημαντικά και τα σημαντικά φαίνονται μακρινά, εκτός πραγματικοτητας. Κι εμείς, όμως, χωρίζουμε. Επειδή έρχεται από εκεί που δεν το περιμένεις, από εκεί που ξεχνάς, από εκεί που σταματάς να εκτιμάς. Και το θυμάσαι όταν πλέον ο χάρος θα χτυπήσει την πόρτα. Και θυμάσαι. Ότι άργησες, ότι παραμέλησες, ότι ο χρόνος ήταν αρκετός αλλα δεν τον εκμεταλλεύτηκες. Έτσι κι αλλιώς, πάντα το έπαιρνες ως δεδομένο. Αυτός, όμως, φεύγει..

Κι αυτός ο φτερωτός άγγελος που ρίχνει τα βέλη εδώ κι εκεί χωρίς εμάς να μας ρωτήσει. Πάντα αυτός πρέπει να φταίει. Κι εμείς χωρίζουμε. Επειδή δεν παλέψαμε αρκετά, επειδή δείλιασες, επειδή αργήσαμε. Έτσι κι αλλιώς, παίξαμε και χάσαμε. Και ξεχνάμε να ρισκάρουμε, ξεχνάμε να ζήσουμε. Φοβόμαστε. Να ερωτευθούμε. Να αγαπήσουμε. Να χαθούμε στη στιγμή. Και συμβιβαζόμαστε, με το εύκολο, το σωστό, το ανώδυνο. Και παραλογιζόμαστε. Για τις ευκαιρίες που χάσαμε, για τις σωστές αποφάσεις τη λάθος στιγμή, για τα "θέλω" που έμειναν θαμμένα λόγω των "πρέπει". Κι εμείς χωρίζουμε. Επειδή οι νέες αποφάσεις μας καταθέτουν τα όπλα και στοχεύουν αλλού. Έτσι κι αλλιώς, a moment of perfection is all you can get.

'Ομως.. θα 'θελα να χωρίσουμε μαζί. Γιατί οι στιγμές μαζί σας are those that keep me going. The ones I cherish, the ones I have locked deep down my heart and soul. Because I am not willing to let go. Θα 'θελα να χωρίσουμε μαζί. Γιατί είστε το πιο σημαντικό κομμάτι της ζωής μου, γιατί χωρίς εσάς δε θα ήταν ζωή. Γιατί δε θέλω να ξεχάσω. Κάθε στιγμή ήταν μοναδική. Κι ακόμα κι αν όλοι κάνουμε τις επιλογές μας και παίρνουμε το δικό μας δρόμο, κάποια στιγμή οι δρόμοι μας διασταυρώθηκαν and for that I am grateful. Γιατί χωρίς εσάς δε θα ήμουν αυτό που είμαι, αυτό που θέλω να είμαι. Θα 'θελα να χωρίσουμε μαζί, γιατί μαζί μεγαλώσαμε, μαζί γελάσαμε, μαζί αγαπήσαμε, μαζί κλάψαμε. Μαζί πέσαμε, μαζί σηκωθήκαμε. Μαζί αποφασίσαμε, μαζί δειλιάσαμε, μαζί τελικά ξεχάσαμε..
Έτσι θα 'θελα να χωρίσουμε μαζί.
Όχι χώρια.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Failure

We are never free. 
What we have become, is contrary to what we have planned. What we are, is not what we wanted to be. Our freedom is continuously consumed. Not only by the "great powers" of the world, the governments, the people who hold the ropes. But by an even  greater menace.
Our own selves.

We have dreams. We have hopes. We have expectations.
Yet, we end up burying them deep down. We become slaves of our brain. What we need, is never what we get. And this is entirely our fault. 
Because when the heart screams "YES", we close our ears. When the mind realizes what is wrong, we close our eyes. We end up doing what is easier. What is right for others, but not for us. We let go of the chances we have, because we messed up once. And then this means messing up twice. And we go on, building one mistake upon the other, burying what we want deeper and deeper in a dark pit, locking our freedom away from reach. Cause we are human and we are stupid.

We never take control. We just let things... be. Happen. We let them happen instead of making them happen. So we mess up. Messed up situations, messed up feelings, messed up people. Messed up world.
One we created by our cowardliness. 

And we are afraid. We are afraid to live, to love. We are afraid to let go of our chains, to lose ourselves in what makes us happy. And we obey. We obey other's wills, we give up, we give in.

The life we lead is no longer our own. If it were, things would have been easier, better. We lead a life someone else is expecting us to live. We choose, and yet the choice in not ours anymore. Not because we don't want it. Because they won't let us. Because people interfere, no matter how hard you toss and turn, you kick and fight. And our brain forgets. The strings pulling us, become our own. And then we cease being us. We become the "convenient" way.

 We are not us.

We have failed.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

"Αυτό είναι σχέση, φίλε"

" [...] Η εμπιστοσύνη, η φροντίδα, η στοργή, το πάθος, η τρέλα, η ζήλια, οι βόλτες, τα ξενύχτια, τα μεθύσια, τα ταξίδια, τα ατελείωτα γαμήσια, τα κρυφά ραντεβού, οι περίεργες συζητήσεις, τα μυστικά τηλεφωνήματα στις 3 το χάραμα, τα "σ΄αγαπώ" στη θάλασσα, τα "σε μισώ" στα πάρτυ, τα "σε θέλω" στα μαγαζιά, οι αμοιβαίες υποχωρήσεις, τα ναι και τα όχι, οι προσπάθειες, τα πρέπει και τα μη, τα λάθη, τα ηλιοβασιλέματα, τα γέλια και τα κλάματα, η συγνώμη.. Αυτό είναι σχέση, φίλε."

Monday, June 10, 2013

Consumed

Our lips crush violently. I can feel the heat of his lips burning mine as they move together. His sweet scent, which doesn't resemble any man-made perfume, fills every corner of my lungs. His arms keep me locked in an embrace which I couldn't escape, even if I wanted to. My hands search for his hair and are automatically clenched around them. Our breathing speeds up and comes out in gasps. The heat exerting his body is absorbed willingly by every cell of my body, burning me on the inside.

He pushes me back against the wall and I curl my legs around his waist. My fingers trace the back of his neck, his broad shoulders, and then find their way back to his hair again. He keeps kissing me, every inch of me, my lips, my hair, my neck, my chest. His soft lips leave little fires on my skin everywhere they touch. I feel like there is no way in the world I can satisfy the hunger I feel for more. Not even every possible way of being linked together will ever consume what we feel. He gives me a long, last kiss. When his lips leave mine, I want them back. I bury my face in his chest not willing to let go, inhaling as much of his scent as I can. He never pushes me away from him. He just strokes my hair, lips on my forehead, hands resting on the small of my back. These would be our last minutes together.

“I have to go”, he whispers softly in my ear.

“I know”, I say quietly, trying to fight back the tears trying to make their way to the surface.

He holds me tighter, then leans down for a deep, last kiss. I cup his face in my hands, trying to prolong the kiss, but time is running out. We have to part ways. He pulls me back softly, as if not to hurt my feelings, stares deep in my eyes for a moment to absorb my image, and then he just leaves, the door closing noisily behind him.

It’s like the room’s temperature has dropped five degrees. Like the colours on the walls have become dull in an instant. The smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen is no longer appealing. His absence leaves a hole in my heart, only to be mended when we meet again. Which we will. Destiny has crossed our paths in a strange way and it surely has a common a path for us. Because we don’t want each other. We need each other.

  



“Never say last”

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Memories are who we are. Whether they are good or bad, happy or painful. Without them, we are nothing. We lose ourselves.
Don't give them up. They are all that you have. They are all that's real. Everything you felt. Love, hope, pain. Cause it's easy to forget, to let yourself go of past. But hold on to it. It's who you are, it's what people made you feel, it's what you've been through. Hold on to them. Keep them safe. Cherish them.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

“Some things are more precious because they don't last long.”

“Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.” 

-The Picture of Dorian Gray

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Breaking the habit

Yeap. It is time. It is finally the time I really make a decision and stick to it. No more straying, no more delusions, no more yielding to emotions.
“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them." -The picture of Dorian Gray
Cause after some time, you can't expect to be able to open someone's eyes. At some point, they have to open them alone.
Cause patience has also it's limits. And you can't expect someone to wait for you forever till you make up your mind.
Cause lies, betrayal, ingratitude, at some point can't be ignored.
Cause when they take you for granted, you should show them you are not a game they can play.
Cause, after all, magic comes with a price.

So, yeah. I'm finally breaking the habit. For real. Goodbye dreams. Goodbye hopes. "Goodbye my lover,goodbye my friend".

I hope you decide and find what you are looking for.

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose. Cause inside I realise that I'm the one confused. I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream. I don't know why I instigate or say what I don't mean. I don't know how I've come this way, I know it's not alright. So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit tonight.

Monday, March 25, 2013

My best friend. My crush. My brother. My lover.
My life.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Treasure

No matter how much gold or treasure you have in your hands, if you don't know how to appreciate it or realise how much it's worth, then it's worthless to you.

Then again, others may be able to see and appreciate it's value. And when it's gone, then maybe you will realise what you had and what you lost. And it will be too late.

Or maybe you won't.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Great Expectations

Lesson of the week: expect everything from everyone. No exceptions.
Or expect nothing. Either way never be surprised. Even the best may stray.

The irony and bliss of ignorance...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

We Are Us

We are believers. We are those who still have faith. We are those who see the silver lining behind every massive destruction. We are the ones who believe in magic. In love. In the kindness of the world. In whatever good there is still left. We are fighters. The ones with unicorns and centaurs and fairies on our side. We are the ones who haven't given up yet. We are the ones who still hope.
We are those who fly with their wings. We are those who still face the flaming dragons. Those who endure the poison of the witch.

But we,too, are afraid. Sometimes we feel like we're losing ourselves. Sometimes we doubt it all. Sometimes we are on the verge of giving up. Long gone into the cruelty of the world. If we give up too, the world will be lost forever. Innocence will seize to exist. Magic will be forsaken.

But then, we remember. We remember why we fight for it all in the first place. We remember why when everyone else has given up, when the world has become so rotten, we still hold our grounds. Few of us left, but with hearts as wide as Wonderland and Neverland and every other land combined all together.

We are the ones who find beauty in the little things. We are the ones seeing magic around the corner. We are the ones who still fight the war even after a lost battle. We are those who believe in a power higher than ourselves. We are those who believe in a potion greater than any unbreakable curse: a True Love's kiss.

We are You.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Times like these..

"..but know that the world is full of beauty you don't even know of or never think about. No need to stay down. Stay open. To everything. Και σε απογοητεύσεις. It's surprising how you think you know everything αν δε φάεις τα μούτρα σου. Sometimes τζαι μετά που τα τρώεις! Anyway, "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers" ". 10/4/12





Friday, February 8, 2013

Confusion

The worst feeling of all: when you don't know what you want. You wake up one day and you want one thing, then the next day you want the opposite. And that's awful not just for you, but for everyone around you. What if there are two choices in life and you don't want either one of them? In fact, you want what you don't have each time. Where do you hide then? When none of the choices completes you, what do you choose?

But what if what you actually want is..both?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Illusions

And the whole world goes in circles. As always. Faith in humanity? Level zero. "The world is rotting". Indeed it is. Including me. Including every single one of us.
There is always that little silver lining of hope. Nope. Not anymore. Because we can't see, if we don't want to. "I see but I don't see". We create those little illusions in our minds, those illusions which give us a hint of hope, which helps us through a little light on what's happening around us. Then again, they are illusions.
The world sucks. Everyone sucks. I suck.
Realizations. That the world is not the way it should be. The world has become a place for sinners. Innocence is gone forevermore. It waves goodbye little by little. With every new realization, I feel a piece of it going away. Like a part of me is missing. And it feels wrong. And excruciating. It feels like my soul is ripped in pieces that disappear into the wild. And I can't get them back. Not now. Not ever.
I thought people could be different. People could be good. But NO. They are just selfish creature looking for pleasure. Trust in the world? Beyond saving.



-"You could be a smurf"

Monday, January 7, 2013

Game over

Sometimes it's good to be able to recognize a lost cause from the beginning. It saves you the trouble of thinking, hoping, over thinking, planning. It saves you time. It saves you pain. It helps you move on quicker. When it's lost, it's lost. Gone. Beyond saving. No matter what actions or what words you use as allies. It can't be saved unless it wants to be.But winning is not an option anymore. Not for us. Not in the way we wanted it to be.

"We played, we lost. Game over."

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Brand New Revisited.

It's that time of the year again, when we wish to enjoy the 365 days ahead. Truth is, we do need this time of the year. Because a day like this, gives us the chance to feel that we have a brand new beginning in front of us. "..another year, another chance for us to get it right."
It's true that some wishes remain the same every single year. But we still wish they come true because a part of us hopes something will change. We need a day like today, a First of some others to come, so that we can leave our mistakes behind, forgive, and hold on to our hopes and dreams. We need this day to re-evaluate our lives, to find again a sense of purpose, a goal in life. We need to spend some time we our loved ones. Learn again to appreciate some things (which will be once again forgotten by the end of the year). We need just a moment to remember to love again. Just a single moment.

However, usually this sense of a new beginning is just an illusion. We hope to leave the past behind, but truth is, it always lingers in front of us. Chases us. Because either us or someone else won't let go. They say, if you messed up your life, changing location won't help at all. It's you that has to change. But let's take a moment to consider this. You, can change. What about the rest of the world, though? It's still the same. It still has the same flaws. And your life does not depend only on you. It's also the people involved. And people are just..people. Mortals. Sinners. So re-evaluation and new beginning? A faraway dream, after all. Not because you don't want to. Because they won't let you.

.. and with these thoughts, I hope you have a Happy New Year :) Cheers to the illusion of new beginnings. We need them.

xoxo