Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dreams.

"We can cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality." -J. Garland.

Dreaming, hoping, wishing, imagining, creating a perfect world/a perfect date/a perfect situation/a perfect-whatever in our minds.
Just by dreaming about it,doesn't make it true.
And we dream and dream.. Of faraway places, far from harm and hate and pain. An island in the coast of Nowhere. A place where there is only true love and happiness. No hunger or illnesses. A place where you can still wish upon a shooting star. A place where fairies exist.
We dream of the day when we will finally meet our other half (if such thing exists), our prince charming on his white horse, knocking on our door, ready to take us to his magic palace. There, we will live happily ever after.
We dream of becoming succesful and famous (well,some people do). People recognising our talents, our efforts.
Then,the present comes to snap us back to reality.

The truth is, we can't really control what we are dreaming of. Still, we can control what we daydream of. Our daydreams are product of our idle brain, fed by our own wild fantasies and expectations. Wishes seeing the light of day in our pure imagination.
Yes, we spend a lot of time daydreaming about what we want. What would be spectacular for us. Irresistible thoughts, dazzling our mind.

But again, just by daydreaming about it, doesn't make it true.

Open your eyes and see what's really going on around you.

Keep your feet on the ground, when your head's on the clouds. 
-Brick by boring brick
Paramore

Monday, April 25, 2011

Into the West

-Annie Lennox

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You've come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say: «We have come now to the end»
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Past, Present, Future.

Funny thing how life goes by.
The present and the past, mixed together, lika a tornado. The past always affects the actions of the present.
The futures just sits back and laughs at the stupidity and tragic irony of the present.
Who knew..

Stuck in the past, crawling into the present, running breathlessly to catch up with the future.
Enjoying some moments at their most, but still, letting others go just like that.
So many chances left unexploited. So many words unspoken.
Emotions well hidden (?) behind eyes.

What if you exploited those chances? What if you said those words aloud?
What if you expressed those feelings back then, when you had the chance?
Would things be different?
I guess they would.
.....................................
Now what?!

Some years ago, I bet Klotho, Lakhesis and Atropos [the goddesses of fate (khem khem)], were laughing soooo hard. Tears of laughter must have been rolling down their cheeks (?) If they knew the next chapter of my life.

Ah, the future, the future, the future.. So close, and yet so far. Always lingering a few inches beyond our reach. So mysterious.. Sometimes we fear the unknown path in front of our feet. On the other hand, sometimes we want to run towards it so badly, to let go of the past, to start over new. However, sometimes we are just not willing to let go of the past. We are so obsessed, we are glued to our memories, not willing to let anything slip away. But memories are just..memories. Nothing will change them. They won't lead us anywhere. They will obsess you more, until you wont be able to move on, and someone will snap you back to reality.

Really, how difficult to let go..
A brand new door has opened for you, another chance to get it right, to try again.. Still, you are not sure if you want to take advantage of it. "HOPE DIES LAST". That's what destroyed us! As long as there is still hope, we won't leave the past to the past. We won't open our eyes to see what's really happening. We will stay in our dreamworld of hope, of expectations, a world where we can still wish upon a shooting star which will make our wish come true.
(Που το πάω; Ούτε γω ξέρω.)
Hope will just hold us back, deleting the option of something new.

"Ever tried, ever failed, it doesn't matter. Try again. Fail again."

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us".


And I'm still hoping.. (?)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Κι αν πτωχική την βρεις, η Ιθάκη δε σε γέλασε..

Και αναρωτιέμαι: γιατί τα πράγματα να μην έρχονται ΠΟΤΕ όπως τα φαντάζομαι;
Και μετά απαντώ στον εαυτό μου: αν έρχονταν όλα βολικά, δεν θα είχες τον πόθο και τον ζήλο να παλέψεις γι αυτά. Η ζωή σου θα καταντούσε ανιαρή, καθώς τα πάντα θα ήταν όπως τα θέλεις και θα ζούσες απλά για να τα ζεις.

Και πάλι, όμως, αναρωτιέμαι.
Αφού γνωρίζω πως στο τέλος δεν θα περάσει το δικό μου. Πρώτη προσπάθεια, δεύτερη προσπάθεια.. Τρίτη και φαρμακερή. Κι αν τελικά στραβοπατήσω και μπουρδουκλωθώ στις ίδιες μου τις αποφάσεις;
Το μάθημα θα σου γίνει μάθημα, λένε οι παλιοί.
Κι αν δεν μάθω το μάθημά μου; Κι αν τελικά μετανιώσω που πίεσα την κατάσταση;
Καλυτερα να μετανιώσεις για κάτι που έκανες, παρά για κάτι που δεν έκανες, συνηθίζω να σκέφτομαι.
Κι αν..
Αν τελικά δεν αξίζει τον κόπο;
Εσύ θα γνωρίζεις αν αξίζει.
Έλα όμως που δεν είναι πάντα ο κόσμος ρόδινος και ωραίος!
Όταν θέλεις κάτι πάρα πολύ, το σύμπαν κάνει τα πάντα για να το αποκτήσεις.Yeah, tell me about it!

Όλοι μιλάνε και μιλάνε, συμβουλεύουνε και συμβουλεύουνε. ΤΙ;! Δηλαδή ξέρουν καλύτερα; "Όταν φτάσεις στην ηλικία μας, θα ξέρεις". Εσείς δηλαδή ξέρετε; "Με τα χρόνια ωριμάζεις." Μπορώ εύκολα να σας μιλήσω για άτομα πιο ώριμα από εσάς. "Με την εμπειρία θα μάθεις." Τώρα προσπαθήτε να μας πείσετε ότι είστε έμπειροι; Όλοι μιλάνε και μιλάνε, συμβουλεύουνε και συμβουλεύουνε..
Προσπαθώντας να αποδείξουν πως κατέχουν όλες τις απαντήσεις, επειδή η πείρα τους τις δίδαξε.

Τελικά όμως..
Αξίζει τον κόπο;
Να περιμένω; Να ξαναπροσπαθήσω;
Κι αν χάνω τον χρόνο μου;
"Κι αν πτωχική την βρεις, η Ιθάκη δε σε γέλασε.."

Friday, April 15, 2011

If Only...

In your stormy ocean of lonenlyness, I'll be your life vest, saving you from drowning.
In your long lost heaven, I'll be your guardian angel, leading you to the right way.
In your agonising devilish nightmare, I'll be the silver lining, helping you endure.
In your labyrinth of possibilities, I'll be the arrow, showing the consequences.
In your whole collection of books, I'll be the One, your all-time-favourite.
In your stupid and meaningless life, I'll be the adventure you always seek for.
In the long way the future holds for you, I'll be the warm hand, helping you stand.
On the edge of the steep cliff of despair you are about to fall,I'll be the rope pulling you back.
In your days of pain, I'll be the painkiller, taking away your pain.
In your bottomless sea of disappointment, I'll be the handkerchief, wiping away your tears.
In your empty room, but still full of screams, I'll be the one fighting away your fears.
During your bewildering and confusing days, I'll be the irresistible answer to your questions.
In the bright and happy moments of your life, I'll be the tear of joy falling down your cheek.

"Say when, and my own two hands will comfort you tonight, tonight.
Say when,and my own two arms will carry you tonight, tonight.."
-The Fray
If only you let me...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Leaving.

I stared out of the window. The rain was washing down the road, the trees, everything.. If only it could also wash away the pain in my heart.. I looked at my reflection on the window. I could see my pale face mirrored like a ghostly-white colour. The purplish circles under my eyes had been growing larger the past few days, making me look like an un-fed vampire. I could distiguish the sorrow from the rest of the feelings mirrored in my eyes. Pain, and loss and sadness, altogether mixed  into a black, bottomless bowl of unpleasant emotions. The drops of the rain on the window matched the tears rolling down from my eyes. My heart was aching. Heart-break was actually a physical pain. It really excisted. I could feel the pain whirling on the inside, breaking me apart. The black cascade of my hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. I didn't care how I looked. He wouldn't be around to see me anymore.
He was leaving. Again.
It felt like he was taking a piece of my heart with him. A piece I wouldn't want to take back. That one piece I'd want him to have forever. I knew it had to end this way from the start. The only happy ending I've known, is the one in fairytales. I just wished he wouldn't have to go. But it was his choice, his future unfolding in front of him. He had to walk his path.
Maybe one day I'd be ready to face the truth; my path was different. Our worlds were the same, and yet different in a strange way. Fused together like one, but still not colliding. No matter what I tried to glue them together, they just repelled each other, like same charges.

"So wide the world, can love remeber how to get me home to you,someday? We'll be together again, or just a dream in the end? [..] I've found a world where love and dreams and darkness all collide. Maybe this time, we can leave our broken world behind."
-together again ~ Evanescence



[P.S. all facts are fictional]

Monday, April 4, 2011

Δηλία

"Γιατί φοβάσαι να πληγωθείς, όταν ξέρεις πως η δηλία πονάει περισσότερο;"

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Have you ever been in love?


“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” 
- Neil Gaiman

This wise man was able to describe exactly how it feels in just a few sentences. However, he forgot to mention how it feels at first. Here’s how it goes..

Once upon a time, you are the star of your horribly boring life. You feel like you just go in circles, your life has become so monotonous, that it’s just a routine. Then the day finally comes. The day you meet that special someone who changes your life completely.  Suddenly, you have a reason to live your ex-monotonous life. All those defenses you had built before, all those walls around your heart allowing no one to enter again, are just destroyed. Simple as that. All those times you swore you’d never fall for someone, are just erased. That someone becomes the centre of your existence, like gravity is not the force holding you on earth anymore. And you’d do anything for that someone. You do stupid and useless things, just in order to spend some more time with him. Even just minutes or seconds, it doesn’t really matter. As long as you get to be with him. You are like a satellite in an orbit around him. He is the brightest star on your own personal night sky. He is the brilliant sun on your no-more-rainy days. He is the diamond in your coal-dusty life. The silver lining of your whole being. Funny thing how just a smile from him makes your day seem golden. His touch, always so comforting, takes away any pain. It feels more like you were in constant pain, but you hadn’t realized it, until his touch took it away. His embrace so warm and protective, you just bury yourself in it and never want to get out. Even if you want so bad to stay there for long, you break it fast, so that he wouldn’t feel awkward. Your head’s on the clouds, you can’t help but daydream of the perfect day when he will be yours. How foolish. He seems so nice, you believe that you finally found that special someone who will always brighten your days and will always care for you and be by your side. He seems to act like that. Again, how foolish.

You let your heart wide open, so that he would notice and enter it and stay there, maybe forever. You sacrificed so many things in order to get to be with him. You let your friends down because of him, because he became you number one priority, because nothing else mattered, but him. You made the mistake to become vulnerable once again. Then, the phrase “just friends” comes to finally knock you out. Again. You knocked on his door, but he wouldn’t answer. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door”. You built so many doors. He opened some of them. He made you feel special and wanted. But he didn’t open that special door to his own heart. He left you outside in the cold, wondering where you went wrong, where you stumbled along the way.  The same mistakes all over again. Girl falls for guy. Guy dumps girl. And vice versa. The word dump would look right if there was actually a relationship. Which didn’t actually exist. Then what? Anyone heard of “So miserable, she couldn’t cry” Well, I guess it’s true. Because sometimes tears can’t define the overwhelming pain you feel.  How could they show all that pain and agony, how could they send the message that your heart is stolen? You gave it to someone else. You just have to find a way to get it back. And here is the difficult part. Destroyed, torn apart, your heart ripped out of your chest. How are you supposed to get over this? Time heals, they say. Well, does it? For what I know, it doesn’t. You just have to find the will and the strength to get back on your feet and live again. Only this time, you’ll be living for you and only you. Not some stupid random guy who played with your feelings.
Could you get up, though?
Could you leave the past to the past?
Could you find a way to make it alone?
Could you leave that closed door behind, and open a new one?
Only you can find the answer. 



Here's a wonderful song about love, by Celine Dion