Endurance

In how many more pieces will I be torn apart? Isn’t one billion pieces enough? How many times more will my heart be broken? How can my heart be hurt so much and still continue beating? Why do I always have to suffer for the one I love? Is there a law in life that says the happy times must equal the pain and the sadness? Why does love produce so much pain? Love is supposed to be a good feeling, to be the best feeling in the world, to win against hate and sadness and pain, right? Then WHY DOES IT HURT LIKE HELL? I want to rip my heart out my chest. “Maybe if my heart stops beating it won’t hurt this much “ says a song. Well I just wish this was true. Because how else am I going to end this pain? I have been broken over and over again; I have hurt him, too, by being hurt. Why are we doing this? We hurt each other all the time. I don’t want this to happen anymore. I got bored of all the crying till I fall asleep. Don’t do I deserve some constant happiness? Or does pain have to accompany love forever? I can’t stand it, I’ve been hurt so deeply, beyond repair. deeper each time. And the wound does not seem to heal and then another wave of pain rips it more open. I hate myself for making him suffer. How much longer can I endure this? I don’t even know myself. One day a will explode into little pieces. I will remain scattered everywhere. No one will be able to put my together again. Only him. He is the only one who can glue me together and then torn me apart again. I’m a little puppet in his fingers. But I know I can’t give up. The pain will be much more unbearable for both of us. I can’t do it. Never. In the end, love’s worth any pain. If I have to endure and suffer forever for his love, so will it be..